Friday, January 7, 2011

Choices...

I had an entire post typed up and ready to go. I was proofreading it before I posted it, and then decided not to keep it. It was going to be all about the drama that seems to surround me in this little life I live... As I was reading it, I decided that if I posted it, I was just keeping the drama near me, and I wasn't doing anything to better my situation.

I've made many choices in my life. Mundane, everyday choices -- Mayo or mustard? Sweet tea or soda? Red or pink polish? Truly life altering choices -- Do I tell my mother I just had a baby? Do I keep said baby? Do I tell him I DO still love him? Do I leave everything and get married?

The choice I made today is both mundane and life altering. I am making a conscious decision to NOT let the drama affect me anymore. I choose to ignore them. I choose to be the bigger person. I choose to be myself and do what I feel is right for my family and myself-even if others disagree. I choose to not worry about what others think. I will live right near the main instigators for several years, and The Hubs is best friends with some of my other problem people. I have no choice but to put a smile on when I see them. No choice but to bite my tongue. No choice but to play nice.

I am choosing to not be friends with them any longer. It is high time I surround myself with good people. God people. :) People who accept me as I am. I refuse to sit in silence any longer while others try to make my life miserable. I'm not very good at standing up for myself. I forgot how to do that about 7 years ago-but that is a blog post for another day. I rarely stand up for anything but my children, which isn't a bad thing. I just have to learn to be assertive for myself once again. I am not a pushover. I am strongwilled. I am determined. I am stubborn!

I know this post won't make much sense to anyone. It's pretty much nonsensical rambling at this point as it is. I just needed to get it out.

I have another post in the wings, I'm just unsure of posting it. I decided in November that rather than calling my New Year's Resolutions 'resolutions', I was going to call them my 'Goals for 2011'. Seemed like a fantastic idea to me at the time. However, now we are a week into 2011 and I've not yet hit 'publish' on that post because it seems like many others in the blogosphere had the same idea. I don't want to look like a copycat... There I go again-worrying about what others think...Someday I'll get there. :D

Blessings!
Anna

2 comments:

  1. Yep, your right...doesn't make a whole lot of sense...but i get the gist of it. Sounds like your making some right choices though! Some friendships just aren't healthy and you have to be the bigger person and cut that tie...and just so you know, I think you just stood up for yourself ;) You sound so much like me!! I am not one to stand up for myself, but one must not mess with my kids because I will stand up for them better and bigger than anyone on this earth and NO ONE will stand in my way, as in time you will learn about some of the life altering choices I have had to make, as the road we left behind was not a pretty one...but for now...Kudos to you for the mundane and life altering choice you made today! :D

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  2. Hardest decision and action you can take in life. Dumping the drama is down right hard...yet the most freeing thing you will ever do.

    And hey - its your blog - post whatever you want to. My blog is all about me and getting things out of my head...its not even about the readers so I don't really worry about if I'm doing the same thing as someone else or how it will look. My blog. My choice. LOL.

    I know you are up to your eyeballs with homeschooling now but we need to get together some time.

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